Offended and Stressed to the Max

47 Whoever comes to Me and hears My words and does them, I will show whom he is like: 48 He is like a man who built a house, and dug deep, and laid the foundation on rock. When the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house, but could not shake it, for it was founded on rock.”
Photo Credits: D. Kelly, Petersburg, WV

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My Reflection

It happens to everyone. Nobody is exempt from being offended. The why, how, and when list is as diverse as the offended individuals themselves. But the primary  source of all offense is pretty much Satan. He is very observant; and in his quest to create schisms, he can be disguised as anything or anyone. He is merely biding his time and when it is right, he strikes. The Kelly residence, a home where Christ is an honored guest, a home full of love, joy, peace, and people, is no exception. Satan shows up here from time to time but we don't let him take up residence, we literally open the door and shoo him out like we would any other unwanted/unwelcome pest..but before we can do that, we have to recognize him – to see his dirty hand a work.

During one of his most recent visits, although he was eventually  noticed and promptly kicked out, he slid in through an off-hand comment I made. In all sincerity, I did not mean anything by it. I was busy hosting a holiday get-together and caught the tail-end of a conversation. But instead of continuing on my way, I asked a five word question. As for me: I was busy, entertaining 30 people will cause that;  - my daughter was anxious:  running a household, raising little ones, and working a job will cause that. Now factor in her fall semester coursework  and you have a perfect formula for stress and anxiety.

This particular day the combination of my busyness and her anxiety created the ultimate breeding ground for Satan to rear his ugly head. She was embarrassed, I was confused, and we were both hurt and overly sensitive. And then the knee-jerk reactions started. Sound Familiar?

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Picture This

I am a firm believer that everyday life events should be used to empower, encourage, enlighten, and equip – to teach us valuable lessons; that is one reason why sharing my life's ups and downs doesn't bother me too much. I figure most of us have issues of some sort, right? We all have good and bad days, ups and down, stress and anxiety, family struggles, church problems, you know, that real life stuff we have to deal with at some point in time.  

Slowly but surely I am learning to use hectic real life happenings to give Satan a black eye; by using what he intended for evil and using them for good. So let me use this most recent event, just a  few hours in time from start to finish, to talk to you about anxiety, stress, and busyness.

• Anxiety, in small doses, is a natural part of life
• Busyness, also in small doses, is okay too
• When these things are a part of everyday life but out of proportion doses, they allow offenses to easier to come by
• Unaddressed offenses breed stress, discontentment, bitterness, strife, and a whole lot more anxiety

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Fast Forward to 2016

In today's society, offense, anxiety, busyness, and stress are words used to describe normal life. Every family, organization, and individual face these things. Worry and inadequate coping skills have us medicalizing everything from homelessness to anxiety. I am not saying the use of medication is a bad thing but I don’t think medication alone is enough. I believe that before medicine is accepted as the best solution, basic coping skills should be taught and put into practice. Below are a few very-very basic coping skills that I use when I identify anxiety or stress entering into my head or gut (notice I said when identified):

• Deep and purposeful breathing - inhale through nostrils; exhale through pursed lips – repeat as needed
• Muscle clenching and relaxing – start with lower limbs for a five count; release over a five count slow and purposeful – repeat as needed
• Speak positive counter-thoughts aloud – ask yourself: Is this real?
• Journal about your anxieties and list corrective measures
• Pray. Talk to God using scripture to affirm a positive outcome

As a Christian life coach, I believe in using the everyday tools God gave us to battle anxiety and stress as a preemptive strike. I also believe that in order to thrive and grow, to overcome and excel, we need to arm ourselves with the sword of the spirit, aka the Bible, to fight back against Satan. As you use these tools, with or without medication, if you believe they will help, you are right - they most certainly will…if you believe they won't, once again, you're right. The mind is a powerful tool but still, we are only built to handle so much stress or anxiety (Matthew 11:28-30).  The next time you are “Offended and Stressed to the Max" lean on God and ask Him to help you overcome the trials that so easily get us off track. 

Hey y'all, have a blessed week

In Christ with love and compassion,

Coach Kelly

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