Heart Divided
Galatians 2:20: "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. And the life that I now live in my body, I live by faith, indeed, by the faithfulness of God’s Son, who loved me and gave himself for me." (CEB). |
"It's determined in the heart." That was the Holy Spirit's answer to my question. I had just finished reading the book "Unashamed" by rapper Lecrae and I had a hornet's nest of questions buzzing through my head. It brought to mind those days I had spent bound by the religious sect. Days when laughing or teasing someone about anything non-churchy actually made me feel guilty. My divided heart wanted to be myself but it was split in two. I didn't know how to be who God created me to be and who they said I was supposed to be...let alone what a real Christian was supposed to look like.
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I was raised in church by parents who were less than perfect. Parents who pushed faith, love, and Jesus, but not a bunch of religious indoctrination. Instead, in their own struggles, they displayed how to fall, get back up, and keep going with faith in God's love for them still intact; meanwhile good Christians faulted them for it...choosing instead to deflect their own flaws with pointing fingers or gossiping tongues (TBH: some of their kids are still screwed up from that unholy double standard). So, thanks to Lecrae's thoughts on what it means to have a Christian worldview - with words like secularism, religion, and stereotype buzzing inside my head - I needed to receive an answer from God. I didn't want to trust any man-made notions tucked away somewhere in my head. So the question I asked God yesterday morning while making a pitcher of iced tea was this: "Okay, so how do we know if we are doing life right as a Christian?" His answer was clear. It is a heart issue. The why, how, and what we do comes from the heart. Singing, dancing, rapping, teaching, praising, or even making a pitcher of iced tea...the Christian-ness of our life's actions are determined in the heart..and only He truly knows the heart.
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In my younger life, despite my parents teaching me better, I had unknowingly become bound by religion. The scary thing about that? Even though I knew something was off I had no idea what so I couldn't fix it. The harder I tried to fit into their little religious box the farther I grew from Jesus.But then God...I can't begin to explain to you how freeing it is to actually develop a relationship with Christ - sort of like the one He had with Peter or John. To live real life and still serve Him. Free to be the woman I was created to be, to have Him woven into everything I do. Yep everything, even when I'm talking to my husband or girlfriends about non-church stuff. It took me years to get back to this place. Once again, I am able to be the woman God created me to be - without fear of being too secular or too me-like while serving Him in all things. To finally be the me my parents knew I was: happy, silly, desirous to be Christ-like, and free of religious bonds...to have a single heart instead of a Heart Divided.
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If you want to become the best version of you possible (enlightened, equipped and empowered) the answers are in your Bible - I encourage you to read it for real and become friends with Jesus - He's pretty awesome. Have a blessed Sunday y'all!
In Christ with love and compassion,
Coach Kelly
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